In the last 24 hours, while casually taking sun on the main deck of my favourite cutter, a horde of Merc scum appeared on the horizon.
Unbidden, they approached my fleet. Attempting to board my ship, water was splashed into my rum! Through gritted teeth I cursed every last one of these dogs.
Then, with a thump, one of their pitiful craft slammed into my bow. My favourite cutter!!
A breast was dislodged from the figurehead and fell into the sea. The finest rack in all of Avonmora, wooden or flesh, defaced!
A tear welled from my glass eye. This unprovoked attack on my fleets will not go unpunished.
The Guild of ONE does not fight wars to suit the tactics of their opponents, and will not in this case. Rather, guerrilla methods will be used.
Cover each others scurvy backs well Merc, for any unprotected back will quickly feel the point of my cutlass. Any weak link will be targetted hardest.
I spit on your guild, and I wipe my arse with your banner.
For no less than one month, all my pirating activities will exclusively target members of Merc.
You may avoid this action by meeting my terms. They are-
1. Financial restituion of 100 million gold coins.
2. A formal apology.
3. Serving as oarsmen in my longboat the next time I choose to water-ski.
Qwerty,
Guidmaster, The Guild of ONE.