by Snowy McScruff » Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:38 am
Reading through the Review. Seems interesting. The gist of the review is good, you obviously know what you are talking about. However your review is not structured writing and suffers because of it. This shows in how you don't explain key concepts which you mention and their are superfluous sentences. Alongside that you need to proof read it more times before publishing it, since the review has multiple grammar mistakes that another read through would find. Another solution is to get a proof reader to read it for you.
Some Mistakes, I found:
Typo in the below sentence, 4th paragraph
You can also attack None Player Targets; with this, you can get gold and fame
It is should be Non-Player Targets
This sentence Needs to be completely redone. It makes little sense, as it seems like three starting sentences all at once.
What makes the game is the community, are they toxic as hell players or are they so welcoming its off-putting? Well, Pirates Glory community is quite unique.
I suggest you only have one of the below sentences and follow it on with a supporting sentence.
Pirates Glory Community, Toxic or Welcoming? Neither ...
What makes Pirates Glory Awesome, is it's community. Shown by its ...
Pirate Glory's community is unique because ...
There are more mistakes, I just don't want to point them all out and be mean.
An easy way to structure paragraphs is Point, Evidence, Explanation and link. This is not the best for articles but a good general structure.
Point: A sentence starting the paragraph, giving the topic addressed
Evidence: A sentence saying why the point is true
Explanation: A sentence explaining the evidence
Link: A sentence to link to the next paragraph or to the greater topic.
Sorry if I am raining on your parade. You obviously put effort into this and are hoping to turn it into something. I wish you luck on continuing your website.
