After discussing the move with our Board of Directors and shareholders, we at Avonmora Toilet Paper Co. are ready to start hiring local employees in Avonmora due to President Jack's successful new tax plan.

Q: Why should I join your toilet paper company? Isn't this a crappy sector?

- We have before us an ordeal of the most smelly kind. We have before us many, many long months of unclogging and of plunging. You ask, what is our policy? I can say: It is to fight against Big TP, by recruiting citizens, privatizing toilet paper, with all our might and with all the strength that God and Captain Jack can give us; to wage corporate war against a business tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalog of asinine prices. That is our policy.

This question is all we feel is necessary to recruit members to our cause. Your guild will understand your departure.

Thank you.

So you are in the business of wiping asses?

With hand and sometimes nose, yes. Check the guild description for more information.

Brings to mind three questions.
1)Does that make Capt DaVinci the Ass Assassin? or do you claim that title chal?
2)Is it true you have a secret junior guild called Tainted Love?
3)Was Ro-Z cheeks crack scour your idea, but stolen by some Candy Ass?

Well its certainly a dirty job you guys have, but somebody's got to do it. Thank you for your services.


Also this reminded me that I'm nearly out of TP and I gotta get some from the store today.

Lefty wrote:1)Does that make Capt DaVinci the Ass Assassin? or do you claim that chal?

I'd gladly let Chalbaud get that prestigious title. I can settle for Badass Assassin...

Our secret junior group is Johnson’s Jr. Guild.

Our services also include cleaning up Guluere/Grimrock/whatever weeb name he has currently. Though this offer is a bit dirtier than cleaning up toilets that have exploded onto the wall creating a doo-doo silhouette of the lucky soul standing there, we gladly supply our customers with this in hopes that no one would face the garbage-filled atrocity known as Dimsock Cutlass alone.

Chalbaud, however, does not know how to unclog a toilet. They normally just sit there, smelling putrid, until someone else comes along and plunges it.

I’m the spokesperson, not the grunt. Although I would be honored to be either.

where can i sign up lol