Best Insults

[Lefty]

An old sea captain named Tom Lowe was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man named Slindur walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color.... green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
After a while Slinder noticed that the captain was staring at him.
"What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?
Tom Lowe replied, "Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

[Lefty]

This is the actual transcript of a conversation between St Kitts-Nevis leader PhoenixKnight and the Isle of Man leader william one eye , off the coast of Psaral.
william one eye : Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south, to avoid collision
PhoenixKnight : Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north, to avoid collision
william one eye : Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south ' to avoid collision.
PhoenixKnight : This is the Captain of a St Kitts-Nevis Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
william one eye : Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course
PhoenixKnight : THIS IS THE LARGEST SHIP IN THE ST KITTS-NEVIS FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY 3 SOLS, 3 MOWS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT SHIPS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES TO THE NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS FLOTILLA.
william one eye: THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE ....... YOUR CALL!

[DezNutz]

Lefty has earned the title of the Right hand of the king's power. Lefty was soon arrested for using the wrong hand to wipe his rear.

How do you know you are full of shit?

When your only comeback to Lefty is a poop joke.

[PFH]

Lefty has earned the title of the Right hand of the king's power. Lefty was soon arrested for using the wrong hand to wipe his rear.

How do you know you are full of shit?

When your only comeback to Lefty is a poop joke.

Or if your eyes are brown

[DezNutz]

Lefty has earned the title of the Right hand of the king's power. Lefty was soon arrested for using the wrong hand to wipe his rear.

How do you know you are full of shit?

When your only comeback to Lefty is a poop joke.

Or if your eyes are brown

So you are admitting you have Brown Eyes.

[PFH]

Well, I have two colors in my eyes. There is a tint of a tan-gold-brown around the pupil and then blue around the gold-brown ring.

[DezNutz]

Sure.

Next your going to tell everyone that you don't have dreams of giant crabs chasing you wearing penny loafers with lightning bolts coming out of its eyes.

[PFH]

Sure.

Next your going to tell everyone that you don't have dreams of giant crabs chasing you wearing penny loafers with lightning bolts coming out of its eyes.

Lightning bolts? That's a shocking topic to talk about.

[DezNutz]

[DezNutz]

Look I found a song about Suzy Q:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJQ0UWU9-Cc