jokes and funny stories.

[PFH]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, Jack and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, Jack bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved Jacks red shirt, which Jack put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but Jack calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again Jack and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to Jack and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". Jack, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were Viking ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to Jack for his usual command. Jack Roberts, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

another poop joke for Jack

That was a crappy play on words.

[sXs]

Natsu Dragneel

[DezNutz]

Natsu Dragneel

BWAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Jack Teach]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, Jack and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, Jack bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved Jacks red shirt, which Jack put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but Jack calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again Jack and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to Jack and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". Jack, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were Viking ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to Jack for his usual command. Jack Roberts, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

another poop joke for Jack

Really? The only thing that is more lazy and stupid than this joke is you. You couldn't even come up with you're own damned joke.

[DezNutz]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, Jack and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, Jack bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved Jacks red shirt, which Jack put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but Jack calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again Jack and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to Jack and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". Jack, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were Viking ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to Jack for his usual command. Jack Roberts, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

another poop joke for Jack

Really? The only thing that is more lazy and stupid than this joke is you. You couldn't even come up with you're own damned joke.

Please post a Jack Teach/Jack Roberts original. As all the jokes I've read so far, are either an exact quote or a variation of an joke that has been around for some time.

[sXs]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, Jack and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, Jack bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved Jacks red shirt, which Jack put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but Jack calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again Jack and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to Jack and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". Jack, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were Viking ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to Jack for his usual command. Jack Roberts, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

another poop joke for Jack

Really? The only thing that is more lazy and stupid than this joke is you. You couldn't even come up with you're own damned joke.

Please post a Jack Teach original.

I thought mine was pretty original

[Dmanwuzhere]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, Jack and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, Jack bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved Jacks red shirt, which Jack put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but Jack calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again Jack and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to Jack and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". Jack, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were Viking ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to Jack for his usual command. Jack Roberts, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

another poop joke for Jack

Really? The only thing that is more lazy and stupid than this joke is you. You couldn't even come up with you're own damned joke.

You mad bro? I guess it depends.
As for originality and laziness you seem to have the same problem as you are using another mans name
now some would say that had to do with your daddy issues.
But I tend to think, due to your trying to reflect your laziness and stupidity on me its really just an IQ issue

[Shadowood]

A well dressed business man is sitting at the bar after a long days work, when a beautiful blonde comes over and starts to flirt with him.
They strike up a conversation and things are going very well. The business man asks the young lady what her name is.

Blonde: "My name is Carmen"
Guy: "That is a beautiful name"
Blonde: "Thanks, I gave it to myself when I became an adult"
Guy: "Why?"
Blonde: "I named myself after two things I love... Cars and Men."
Blonde: "So whats your name"
Guy: BJ Titsandgolf

[PFH]

A well dressed business man is sitting at the bar after a long days work, when a beautiful blonde comes over and starts to flirt with him.
They strike up a conversation and things are going very well. The business man asks the young lady what her name is.

Blonde: "My name is Carmen"
Guy: "That is a beautiful name"
Blonde: "Thanks, I gave it to myself when I became an adult"
Guy: "Why?"
Blonde: "I named myself after two things I love... Cars and Men."
Blonde: "So whats your name"
Guy: BJ Titsandgolf

[Jack Teach]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, Jack and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, Jack bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved Jacks red shirt, which Jack put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but Jack calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again Jack and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to Jack and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". Jack, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were Viking ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to Jack for his usual command. Jack Roberts, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

another poop joke for Jack

Really? The only thing that is more lazy and stupid than this joke is you. You couldn't even come up with you're own damned joke.

You mad bro? I guess it depends.
As for originality and laziness you seem to have the same problem as you are using another mans name
now some would say that had to do with your daddy issues.
But I tend to think, due to your trying to reflect your laziness and stupidity on me its really just an IQ issue

To your first attack, I like the name Roberts, so I use it, it's the last name of a pirate whom I admire. Secondly, I don't have daddy issues, I'm a man and I have a excellent relationship with my father. And thirdly, I called your joke stupid because you took it from the game and tinkered with it in attempt to mock me. And lastly, you're the one acting butthurt, as after I called you stupid you became extremely triggered and then called me lazy and stupid for picking a name of someone I admire, and for calling your joke stupid. Are so easily offended by a disagreement over something that you proceed to unleash a tirade of insults that literally have no basis for? It appears so.