Message in a Bottle Seventh Edition
PAGES
- Front Page - Message from the Editor
Page 2 - The New Kings
Page 3 - Oh Canada
Page 4 - Fantasy Draft IX
Page 5 - Meet the Crew
Page 6 - Historic Lookback - Valentine's Day
WEATHER
Brought to you by Meliva
Welcome to the weather report for the month.
Here's the general weather for the main areas.
The rivers in Baramas and Kanoni are having a drought, so the locals are drinking more rum then usual-
Think I saw Davinci pass out drunk but that may have just been some hobo that looked like him.
St. Martins is having a storm, this old sea hag enjoyed it quite a bit, good for the crops.
The area of Pania, Regis and Goroum were hit by a earthquake- the damage was minor but it did cause the plantation workers to freak out a bit.
Sunny and warm weather in the southern ports of Tzogos, Tortuga, and Aiora. We hear talk that locals saw Dman hanging ten while surfing whatever
that is.
EDITORS NOTE: . Shiver me timbers me hearties - the new fandangled 'surfingwhateverthatis' looks ...aah .. er .. painful .. not for the feinthearted!
[/color]
Back to you Meliva!
Thorokas and Gasp are having a snowstorm, rumors say the local children pelted Sir Henry with snowballs after being dared by some old hag.Akrotiri and Psaral are having windy weather, we saw Argo flying a kite during one windy day.The central ports of Vaasburg, New Land and Seaglory have had severe floods,
we saw Dez get swept away in the water, but he emerged just fine albeit
soggy later.Prote, Neapolis, Hannes, and Caspian are having minor sprinkling, we saw Tom Lowe planting a new garden in Prote.Chalkos meanwhile ended up having a massive fire break out.
Rumor is that a donkey owned by Danik allegedly kicked over a candle and started the
fire.
Tom Lowe attending new garden.
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
MIAB VALENTINES COMPETITION.
All you wenches and scallies grab your fancy and get to it ... The history of St Valentines Day stems from the sexy rollicking tales of Lupicalia, the early Roman Era and Claudius 11, who, decided married men do not good soldiers make. He enforced a law that all men remain unmarried.As it happens, love will always find a way and in this case it found a priest named Valentine who did not agree with the kings proclamation and secretly continued to marry couples in love.
Of course when Claudius 11 found out about this he was irate and demanded Valentine lose his head. Which promptly happened after his arrest.History records the ppl celebrated Valentine and made him a saint as the christian values permeated the land overtaking the pagan 3 day orgiastic celebration ..
This medieval festival of fertility and public raging sex, rampant and random heat and heaviness was known as Lupicalia .. I mean.. you had 3 days to find the right person or you'd have to wait another 12 months !!!
Think rabbits!!Morals were especially loosey goosey over this period as young men caught and killed wild dogs and goats and sacrificed them to the gods, stripping the animals of their skins and proceeding to beat the potential woman of their dreams with them .. The sky-clad, dancing and flirtatious ladies considered this very flattering indeed.With Christianity taking over from paganism, the church encouraged the martyrdom status of Valentine's insistence that the christian God loves love and lovers to marry and performed their wedding ceremonies regardless of the risk to his own life.
It isn't 100% known for sure why we actually celebrate this day .. it has become commercial in nature and celebrated in many countries raking in a whopping 22 Billion dollars in 2021 in the USA alone. All that booty... spent on things such as flowers and chocolates... imagine what a pirate could do with all that gold coin! (edited)
Whats Valentines day without a few good pick up lines, aye? Ive heard some beauties over the years -From"I love your dress.. that colour will look great on my bedroom floor"to "Wanna f*** ? from a couple of randoms who just walked up and seriously asked out of the blue .. " LOL
I was also accosted one time in a bar by a smelly, crazy fisherman named 'Caveman' who introduced himself to me by rushing up to me, dropping to his knees and biting my ankle - !! (Poor Caveman ..
While his pick-up technique didn't impress we did get to be friends... but he is dead now lol)Tell us your best Valentines memories, stories or pick up lines!! 10 credits to the most laughter inducing contribution!!
Have fun ... Happy Valentines and Good Luck in the Draft
[/color]Brought to you by Meliva
Welcome to the weather report for the month.
Here's the general weather for the main areas.
The rivers in Baramas and Kanoni are having a drought, so the locals are drinking more rum then usual-
Think I saw Davinci pass out drunk but that may have just been some hobo that looked like him.
St. Martins is having a storm, this old sea hag enjoyed it quite a bit, good for the crops.
The area of Pania, Regis and Goroum were hit by a earthquake- the damage was minor but it did cause the plantation workers to freak out a bit.
Sunny and warm weather in the southern ports of Tzogos, Tortuga, and Aiora. We hear talk that locals saw Dman hanging ten while surfing whatever
that is.
EDITORS NOTE: . Shiver me timbers me hearties - the new fandangled 'surfingwhateverthatis' looks ...aah .. er .. painful .. not for the feinthearted!
[/color]
Back to you Meliva!
Thorokas and Gasp are having a snowstorm, rumors say the local children pelted Sir Henry with snowballs after being dared by some old hag.Akrotiri and Psaral are having windy weather, we saw Argo flying a kite during one windy day.The central ports of Vaasburg, New Land and Seaglory have had severe floods,
we saw Dez get swept away in the water, but he emerged just fine albeit
soggy later.Prote, Neapolis, Hannes, and Caspian are having minor sprinkling, we saw Tom Lowe planting a new garden in Prote.Chalkos meanwhile ended up having a massive fire break out.
Rumor is that a donkey owned by Danik allegedly kicked over a candle and started the
fire.
Tom Lowe attending new garden.
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
MIAB VALENTINES COMPETITION.
All you wenches and scallies grab your fancy and get to it ... The history of St Valentines Day stems from the sexy rollicking tales of Lupicalia, the early Roman Era and Claudius 11, who, decided married men do not good soldiers make. He enforced a law that all men remain unmarried.As it happens, love will always find a way and in this case it found a priest named Valentine who did not agree with the kings proclamation and secretly continued to marry couples in love.
Of course when Claudius 11 found out about this he was irate and demanded Valentine lose his head. Which promptly happened after his arrest.History records the ppl celebrated Valentine and made him a saint as the christian values permeated the land overtaking the pagan 3 day orgiastic celebration ..
This medieval festival of fertility and public raging sex, rampant and random heat and heaviness was known as Lupicalia .. I mean.. you had 3 days to find the right person or you'd have to wait another 12 months !!!
Think rabbits!!Morals were especially loosey goosey over this period as young men caught and killed wild dogs and goats and sacrificed them to the gods, stripping the animals of their skins and proceeding to beat the potential woman of their dreams with them .. The sky-clad, dancing and flirtatious ladies considered this very flattering indeed.With Christianity taking over from paganism, the church encouraged the martyrdom status of Valentine's insistence that the christian God loves love and lovers to marry and performed their wedding ceremonies regardless of the risk to his own life.
It isn't 100% known for sure why we actually celebrate this day .. it has become commercial in nature and celebrated in many countries raking in a whopping 22 Billion dollars in 2021 in the USA alone. All that booty... spent on things such as flowers and chocolates... imagine what a pirate could do with all that gold coin! (edited)
Whats Valentines day without a few good pick up lines, aye? Ive heard some beauties over the years -From"I love your dress.. that colour will look great on my bedroom floor"to "Wanna f*** ? from a couple of randoms who just walked up and seriously asked out of the blue .. " LOL
I was also accosted one time in a bar by a smelly, crazy fisherman named 'Caveman' who introduced himself to me by rushing up to me, dropping to his knees and biting my ankle - !! (Poor Caveman ..
While his pick-up technique didn't impress we did get to be friends... but he is dead now lol)Tell us your best Valentines memories, stories or pick up lines!! 10 credits to the most laughter inducing contribution!!
Have fun ... Happy Valentines and Good Luck in the Draft
..***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
[color=#8000FF]MIAB wishes to thank, as always, Dez, Mel and our guest contributors, Danik and Stan! Barrels of fine rum on their way as we go to print! 2 x Special edition Rum barrels to WilliamOneEye for the great job he did on the Fantasy Draft ix banner with the hilarious and perfect nod to Shadowood ... just awesome!Thanks once again to Shadowood, of course, for the Fantasy Draft ix = The Rookies Draft and your on-going support.Hosted this year by (CA) Dez and Mel.
Thank you to the good folk of Avonmora - you ARE the news!!
See you next issue!!
Happy Sailing!!
