Worthy goal ?

[Stan Rogers]

Twas out in me Sloop yesterday enjoying a wee bit of a sail when I hears a noise to me stern. took a look back 'n a fleet of traders comes literally flying by me. Belching smoke 'n steam and making a noise like the hounds of hades been set loose.
I gets a glimpse of a spanish flag and and a ship name ...Los Polos... It be that crazy Torquemada trying some new fangled experiment with fire flying out of the hold of his ship and pieces of gold blowing off the deck as he passes me.
I gets back to port and look up the manifests and I spy this entry...

Most Profitable Fleet Yesterday: Los Pollos - DD-02 by Torquemada 740,520 total profit

Now I knows that man of the cloth is a crazy SOB but me thinks he has something here.
I may sneak into one of his ships to see what kind of contraption he has there.

[Most Lee Harmless]

Triple-bypass, supercharged, inverted inlet, bio-hydrogenated boilers... fueled by the souls of the damned... adds that little extra kick on the over-run..

[Most Lee Harmless]

Trade Exploration by Stan Rogers 834,125 total profit

I smell heresy at work, the imps of satan have no doubt guided this foolish fellow astray... *shakes fist

[Stan Rogers]

So da curosity gets the best of me so I sneaks down to the dockyard where me knows that Torque guy leaves his ship to look for dat ship me sees yesterday.
Figured he would post a guard so I gets me wife to saunder by and shur'nuff dere was one old Seadog jes hang'in about.
Now me wife ain't one of dem dere "squisd beauties" I hear some sailors talk'in 'bout but in the dark, she ain't half bad looker . Probably 'cause of that bout of scabbies kinda ruined her looks but like me says...she aint bad in the dark.
Anyhow... she gets on dat strut dat only a woman can do and she waltz right up to dat dere guard and says somtin I can't here and soon off they go together. I decides to get down to the bus'nes at hand and see what that dang ship powered from Lucifer heself had in the hold.

I lites me lantern when I gets below deck and I sees the strangest contraption I ever laid me eye's upon. Lokked a lot like that new fangled contraption Roberto be fool'in with over at the grist mill.Roberto claims that thes new machins will be da future someday.
Anyhows... the stench was terrible and piled high to each side of this big firebox be da excrement collected from equine animals.
I figures, if dat crazy preacher can get dat kind of speed from burning regular old horse road hockey pucks, what could me do's if I gets me a big bunch of male bovine manure and gets Roberto to help me put one of dem contraptions in me best ship.
Well...we figured out how dis was all done and we happy to let everyone know that Bullshit will get you farther than horseshit every time !

[Most Lee Harmless]

Aye, a full and frank confession of heretical dealings indeed! Tamper ye not with the satanic mills, for the darkness lies within, seek ye the Light of the Lord and repent your sins!

Meanwhile, I have found this strange mumbling chap who speaks of a new fangled propulsion system called 'The Infernal Combustion Engine'.. He is reluctant to tell me much of the inner workings of this wonderous device, but once he meets my largest and most pointed red-hot poker, I do not doubt he will confess all... they usually do.


Edit : This will, naturally, s**k for pirates.

[Stan Rogers]

Me treasure fleets earnings be down consid'ble. I gots to go to have a gab at t'at merchant t'at sold me fuel for me ships.
Looks like he is not selling me 100% pure bullshit.

[Most Lee Harmless]

ha! Your supplies of bulldust are exhausted and your fleets lie becalmed and profitless : meanwhile my soul-powered behemoths charge ever onwards... repent of your sins, recant your erorrs and a small donation may buy an indulgence or two to save your soiled and miserable souls!

[Stan Rogers]

Aye, tis be true copious amounts of pure bulldust be needed to power such 'mazing 'traptions. I do's have me concerns about the hull 'tregrity pushing dem dat hard witout the master carp'ter check'n out 'er bones aft'wards. Some of dem ships never built to go dat fast.